wisdom tooth

today, i went for wisdom tooth extraction.....in search for a distraction. appointment at 4pm....i went in around 420pm and was done at 5pm. fast, very fast i thought. pain, not at all....till now, still not painful even though the anaesthesia is gone.
why? why painless? it's painful somewhere, i need pain somewhere else.....i'm searching for a distraction, am still.

another distraction.....drinking.
yes, i found my distraction....it's painful, good.

i wish life is like a waterfall....just cascading down in freefall, and just going with the flow - with the assurance that there's only one way you can go, no turning back. lie back and just float.
but it's not that simple....i'm not.

star awards 2006

for as long as i remember....
i never like shooting the star awards, but was assigned to cover the ceremony....no choice, but this year i dont mind.
stars, celebrities....so many for me to see, up close and personal....
but the one that i wanted to see, so near and yet so far....not even mind just seeing her back view....

i went home hungry....

who goes...

a sms, a smile on my face...or izzit a new haircut?

aiyi said she'll go if ym goes.
then u said u'll go if pee goes.
and pee will go if aiyi goes :)

at times, it's better to be alone and left alone, but not lonely.
hmmmm~~ hoegaarden is nice, as nice as coke.

erased...period.

it was silent, but i heard something beautiful....from her. i was smiling....to myself, alone.
erased? period, i guess.

map...lost?

in rome, i walked along the streets without a map. yes, i got lost a bit here and there but still, i found my way back. now that i'm back, i'm lost again. thought i had gotten a map to find my way home? yes thought, it's just a thought....it's a thought of my mind, or rather, i think it's more of a thought of my heart. should i use less of my heart and more of my mind? either way, it's deep....i dont know wat to do?

i would rather be the right wrong person.....
i'm looking for my right wrong person.........
why are people forever seeking that special person who is right for them? in fact, there's no right person, just different flavours of wrong. i myself are wrong in some way, everybody are.....so, if i'm wrong in some way, then isn't it true that i'm also seeking out partners who are wrong in some complementary way too? hmmmm~~ i think i'm looking for the wrong person, not just any wrong person, but the right wrong person-someone i look at and think, "this is the problem i want to have."

a special person who is wrong for me in just the right way....
aaahhhhhhaa~ my right wrong person.

again....

to remind myself, so i post this entry....Only One, Mind or Heart?

i have a doubting mind and a trusting heart. they both cant get along. they have fragmented me in a way that has filled bitterness inside me. i looked back and see what have happened....by means of any one of these two, either mind or heart has destroyed it. whatever i gained using mind could not be used because my heart refused to accept, and whatever i gained using heart was unacceptable to mind. maybe it seems foolish, but i'm not in a position to accept both of them together and it's really very hard to live with them together. did they ever once agree on any subject or anything together in my life? i wonder now....again. the true nature of mind is to doubt while heart is completely opposite of that. heart is always trusting without any logic, how true! mind and heart operate independently. situations when i tried to listen to them together, my life became hell. what is the need of these two living in a single body if they cant agree on anything? mind and heart are independent entity and should operate alone freely. both are equally important and powerful. only one allowed, mind or heart?

mind won the battle this time, i lost.
would u rather be the right wrong person or the wrong right person?